Why November creates space for memories
Schwäbisch Hall. As the days grow shorter and the year comes to an end, many people turn their gaze inward. November is traditionally a month of remembrance – a quiet time in which not only deceased relatives are remembered, but also loyal animal companions. Because when an animal dies, more than just a quiet barking or purring often stops. Routines, rituals, entire everyday worlds disappear. And with them a part of what home means to many people.
How do we actually mourn our animals?
Grieving animal owners are still met with a lack of understanding: “Don’t act like that.” Or worse: “It was just an animal.” What millions of people feel every day has long been scientifically proven: animals can be emotional anchors, real companions, companions in life. Your loss hits deep. And deserves a dignified farewell.
“A common question that people ask me again and again when they are grieving is: Am I even allowed to feel that?” says Sandra Lutz. She runs the animal crematorium thanks & faithfully and has been accompanying animal owners in their farewells for eight years. “Yes, you can. You should, in fact. Now is the difficult time of saying goodbye. And it wouldn't be so terribly painful if it hadn't been so beautiful before. And no one can take this valuable time and memory away from you!”
The most important thing is to give space to the pain. But what can this place look like? Many people find it helpful to consciously pause: a last walk along the familiar route, a memory book with photos, a letter to the deceased animal. Creating a small memorial site – whether in the garden, on the balcony or in the apartment – can also provide comfort. Such rituals are not kitsch, but rather an expression of a deep bond. And they open up possibilities in which grief cannot be suppressed, but rather borne with love.
Animal crematoria also make an important contribution to this. They offer a protected environment for an individual farewell without any pressure. Whether classic burial or cremation or aquamation – a new, gentle and environmentally conscious alternative: “The decision as to how an animal is buried is often part of the grieving process itself. What is most important is that it is made consciously and in harmony with what shaped the relationship,” explains Sandra Lutz.
But memory doesn't always need an official framework and is often shown in small things: your favorite toy that stays in its place. The old collar that suddenly means more than just a piece of fabric. Many pet owners consciously design such personal mementos as symbols. Some also choose jewelry that contains ashes or have part of it made into a memorial diamond. Others opt for a digital memory portal where photos, stories and thoughts find a permanent place. What matters is not the form, but the space that is given to the memory.
November in particular invites you to give space to this sadness. “Those who allow themselves to look back often discover not only the pain of loss, but also the power of memory. It shows that this connection was real. It should be missed,” says Sandra Lutz. And it can stay – in stories, in thoughts, in small everyday gestures. Mourning is not a sign of weakness, but of love.
Over thanks & loyal
The animal crematorium Dank & Treue, www.dankundtreu.de, has been accompanying animal owners on their final journey with their loyal companions since 2017. In a family atmosphere, the company offers sensitive and respectful animal burial, from classic cremation to aquamation, which is considered a particularly gentle and environmentally friendly alternative. Dank & Treue is currently the only animal crematorium in Germany that allows aquamation, creating a unique setting for a dignified farewell.